I’ve had these horrible nightmares for several years that occurs during stressful times with my autistic son. In waking life I’m very stressed due to his tantrums and special needs, but the nightmares I have are making me feel more and more anxious and guilty. The thing is, I’ve had bad dreams about him since he wasn’t even concidered, and during his baby years even though he was a calm baby and we had a close connection.
The dreams are sometimes violent where I have tried to strangle him, mock him, telling him his father died just to hurt him, but mostly I make horrible faces in front of him and growls just to scare him. Sometimes I’m aware that it’s a dream so I feel less guilty about projecting this at him.
But waking up from these dreams make me feel like a horrible mother and a psycopath. I never have these dreams about my other children. Please, what does it mean?