Losing Important People

@Michael B. French @Summer Putman @jeshin (I hope I have tagged these correctly. :))

I've only had four or five dreams "stay" with me like this one did and has. Thank you for your insight.

My mom passed with cancer several years back. We were told she would have a few years, she actually only lived about 7 weeks during which she stayed with us and passed in our home. We were very close and I've missed her during these years.

My husband and I are nearing our 30th anniversary. I'm blessed that he is a believer and we have a good marriage. That said, his former job kept him on the road about 280 days per year (he was laid off in March because of Covid and has yet to find a new job- please pray about that...). That meant that I was the full time caregiver for my home.

An example of *some* of my days include a few years back. My pastor who was in his early 50's and lived next door passed out. With my husband gone and his wife at work, his children ran to me for help. I did cpr on him with my children and his were looking on until the paramedics could arrive. One of his children was screaming. I was one person and was trying so hard to comfort her, but not stop what I was doing. He passed that night. It's been hard to think over that evening without crying.

Last year when my father in law required daily care while he was in the hospital for three months. I would care for him during the day and leave to come care for my little ones at night. Thankfully, I have older children who could help. FIL passed in Sept.

I also have a few older children who were raised in a Christian home but have left our home and have made such painful decisions. My heart stays burdened over them, and yes, I do believe some of what at least one of them has done has been intentional (I had one of my very first dreams like this before she was ever born about her, btw).

The things they have done have happened while I was also trying to deal with the above, and manage my home and missing my husband and my mom. Sometimes my head and heart just couldn't put into words all that was happening at once, and I would just sit in silence before the Lord knowing He already knows.

I do know God has been so faithful to me during this time, but these last several years have been lonely, and full of painful layers.

I dwell on knowing that even when I might not *feel* like God is here, He is.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my dream.

@Michael B. French @Summer Putman @jeshin (I hope I have tagged these correctly. :))

I've only had four or five dreams "stay" with me like this one did and has. Thank you for your insight.

My mom passed with cancer several years back. We were told she would have a few years, she actually only lived about 7 weeks during which she stayed with us and passed in our home. We were very close and I've missed her during these years.

My husband and I are nearing our 30th anniversary. I'm blessed that he is a believer and we have a good marriage. That said, his former job kept him on the road about 280 days per year (he was laid off in March because of Covid and has yet to find a new job- please pray about that...). That meant that I was the full time caregiver for my home.

An example of *some* of my days include a few years back. My pastor who was in his early 50's and lived next door passed out. With my husband gone and his wife at work, his children ran to me for help. I did cpr on him with my children and his were looking on until the paramedics could arrive. One of his children was screaming. I was one person and was trying so hard to comfort her, but not stop what I was doing. He passed that night. It's been hard to think over that evening without crying.

Last year when my father in law required daily care while he was in the hospital for three months. I would care for him during the day and leave to come care for my little ones at night. Thankfully, I have older children who could help. FIL passed in Sept.

I also have a few older children who were raised in a Christian home but have left our home and have made such painful decisions. My heart stays burdened over them, and yes, I do believe some of what at least one of them has done has been intentional (I had one of my very first dreams like this before she was ever born about her, btw).

The things they have done have happened while I was also trying to deal with the above, and manage my home and missing my husband and my mom. Sometimes my head and heart just couldn't put into words all that was happening at once, and I would just sit in silence before the Lord knowing He already knows.

I do know God has been so faithful to me during this time, but these last several years have been lonely, and full of painful layers.

I dwell on knowing that even when I might not *feel* like God is here, He is.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my dream.